A Very Casual Mother's Day

"She'll look so cute," I thought to myself as I picked out a purple and white striped dress for Sydney to wear to church the next day. The little number had Mother's Day written all over it. She never did wear that dress, nor did we ever make it to church. Sickness strikes at any time it darn well pleases. After a frantic midnight call to her pediatrician, our nerves were put at ease to know, that indeed, she did NOT have a piece of burger stuck in her lung {ahem, first time parents}. We were told it sounded like croup or the start of a cold. Which, it was.

Needless to say, we did not go to church. But that is okay. Steve made breakfast, and Sydney gave mommy a new fossil tote! At such a young age, this girl has quite the fashion sense. 

We enjoyed a leisurely, cotton romper, pizza eating, back deck sitting sort of afternoon. And the day ended with a lovely, casual back yard cook out at my sister's place. There were hot dogs, and burgers, and delicious drinks make with gin and pineapple. There was laughing and baby holding (albeit, tears). We even managed to get a family picture of all of us, sans Allison, which rarely happens these days it seems.

hipster in the making. #kale

 

 

So, alas, the only picture I have of myself and daughter on my first Mother's Day is sitting on a camping chair in our non-church attire. What matters is that we were together, and that is enough.

Thanks for hosting, Mandy! 

Holly xoxo

My Daughter has Poochie Lip Disease

It's amazing what a shower, a baby in bed, and a glass of wine in hand can do! Feeling refreshed and excited to be tapping away at this keyboard. I've struggled to make blogging a priority these past several months. I do enjoy and miss it, I really do. One would THINK being a stay at home mom means oodles and oodles of free time. Well, at least that's what the naive, pre-motherhood me thought. ANYWAY, I figured it's about time for an update. Veteran blogger, mommy, and sister in law will occasionally harass remind me that it's good to "write" this stuff down so I can remember the little details. I couldn't agree more.

And just like that nine months are behind me.

What better way to dive back into blogging than to talk about this little girl who has stolen my time, energy and heart? Below are pictures of Sydney months one through nine. It's fun to look back, is it not? She's changed so much! She looks more and more like her father with each passing month.

 

So, here's the latest on the Sydney Hope Chronicles....

Growth since birth: Gained 12 pounds and grew 9 inches. She currently weighs 17 lbs 4 oz and has climbed from 10th percentile to 45th in weight! Proud mama moment!

 I'm so glad I saved a premie size diaper. Sniff.

Teeth: Four! Two lower and two upper.

Eating: She nurses about 4-5 times a day. She's been eating solids since 6 months old, and I have  slowly been phasing out the baby purees. She especially loves chicken, cheese, waffles, avocados, and yogurt. In fact, I can't think of too much that she's turned her nose up to, other than the occasional green veggie. Which, who can blame her?

On the move: Rolls from tummy to back, and back to tummy like a champ. Not crawling yet, but she recently lunged forward towards a toy while in the sitting position and she WAS on all fours, for like a second, before she rolled to her back. I believe she is "creeping" now, as in she no longer stays on the blanket, which means I need to get to shampooing the carpets pronto. Because, dog. The pediatrician said some babies just do not crawl and skip right to walking! Regardless, I see progress each week. So, I'm not one bit concerned. I often fail to consider she's a premie, because just looking at her one would think she is not. So really, she would only be coming up on her 8 month birthday if she was born full term. In addition to creeping and rolling, Sydney can easily support herself standing, if she's holding onto something. I am savoring these fleeting days of a practically non-mobile child. Because, yikes!

Sleeping: Takes about an hour morning nap and a 1-2 hour afternoon nap. Goes to bed at 8:00 and sleeps until about 7:30 or so. She has been a wonderful sleeper, and has slept through the night (8+ hours) since she was eight weeks old. Don't hate me! I followed the Baby Wise "eat, wake, sleep" schedule, recommended by several mommy friends. I will never know for sure if it's because I followed the principles of this book, or if it's because she is naturally a good sleeper. BUT, I do know that if there is a next child, I plan to follow the same routine.

Saying- Lots of goo-goo-ga-ga's these days. I hear an occasional "ma" and "da", not that she knows what that means yet. But, it's still mostly squawking and other such banter like "heeeey!" and "ahhh!" when she's really excited.

Personality: Dare I say, introverted? She is happy, chatty and playful when she's at home with mommy and daddy. Nana and poppop are included in this innermost circle. Otherwise, there is crying and gnashing of teeth. They tell me this is a phase. She's had "stranger danger" since like, three months old?! Have I sheltered her too much? Is this the result of being cooped up all winter with her ever doting, neurotic mother (who, me?). OR, is she just shy and reserved around people and places she's not used to? Is it possible she is an introvert like her daddy, preferring smaller groups of those she loves most? The girl cries at the drop of a hat when not in mommy, daddy, nana, or poppop's arms. Heck, even if said intruder is infringing upon her personal space and I'm HOLDING her, the poochie lip may or may not make it's dramatic appearance. Among close family and friends, she has become known for her infamous Queen Elizabeth glare. If looks could kill.

  

And, my poor grandmother...I promise, she loves you! As the old saying goes, it is what it is. Come on Sydney, grow some thick skin already.

On second thought, she can be a mama's girl for as long as her little heart desires.

Completion of nine month hiatus. Check.

Holly xoxo

A birth story: the day my life changed forever

We had just finished eating dinner. I don't even recall what we ate...tacos maybe?

"Honey, I think my water may be breaking...?" There was no gush, just a little leaking I noticed in my underwear {sorry TMI!}. Or at least that's what I thought. Was I imagining it? I felt so uncertain, yet I had this gut feeling that I should call my doctor. As I was on the phone with a mid wife, Steve was upstairs ironing the curtains for the nursery. I don't think he thought much of my discovery until I ran upstairs and told him they want me to come in to labor and delivery...'just in case'. We scrambled around, grabbed our already packed hospital bags, thinking to ourselves could this be the day? As we were driving to the hospital, we tried our best to hide our excitement and remain calm because surely this was just a false alarm. Right?

We checked into triage and they immediately took me back to get strapped up to monitors to measure contractions and the baby's heart rate. Thankfully, Sydney was not in distress and my contractions were averaging about 7 minutes apart. Nothing that unusual, considering I've been having contractions on and off for almost two months! The mid wife I spoke with on the phone came in and performed a test to determine if it was amniotic fluid that was leaking and to see If my cervix was dilated at all. The test came back inconclusive and I was only about 1 cm dilated. She didn't think my water was breaking due to the inconclusive results, but ordered an ultrasound to measure the fluid around the baby "just to be safe". No biggie! We were right, just a false alarm. I was embarrassed but knew it's better to be safe than sorry. The ultrasound went well...as far as we could tell. Sydney looked great and was moving around a lot. The ultrasound tech did mention that the fluid was measuring low, but made no hint that we should be concerned or how low it was exactly. "I need to take these pictures to a doctor to look at. We will be with you shortly," the ultrasound tech said.

We waited about 15-20 minutes. It seemed like an eternity. Finally, the mid wife returned and said very matter-of-factly, "So, are you ready to meet your daughter tonight?"

!!!

Steve and I grabbed each others hand. I remember repeating "oh my gosh! oh my gosh!" I also remember Steve grinning ear to ear.

The next two hours were a blur. But, apparently my water was breaking and the level of fluid around the baby was way too low. They would need to take her out NOW by c-section in order to avoid full blown labor because she was breech.

By the time the mid wife told us we would be meeting our daughter that night, to the time I was being prepped in the operating room was about an hour or so. It was all happening so quickly, but I was so excited to meet her and see what she looked like! Since she was only 35 weeks along, I of course was also worried about her health.

At 10:55 pm on Monday, August 4, 2014, our beautiful and perfect baby girl made her grand entrance into the world.

As, the doctor was operating I heard him say "I see a little butt!" and then she was out. I then heard the most beautiful sound. The sweet cries of my daughter. As she was being carried from my belly to the pediatrician for examination, the first thing I noticed was lots of dark hair. Steve instantly went over to see her and take pictures and cut the cord. I could overhear the doctor and nurse as they looked her over and by seeing the huge smile on Steve's face, I knew she was healthy and I knew it was going to be okay.

5 lbs 7 oz. 18.75 inches long. Our miracle was finally here.

^^^about to go back to the operating room

 

^^^last picture of me pregnant at 35 weeks.

^^^first picture of our baby girl <3

^^^first time meeting mommy

^^^first family photo :)

^^^our future gymnast ;)

^^^first visitors. steer clear! Nana's on a mission!

^^^Nana, Aunt Erin, & PopPop

Holly xoxo

Sydney at two weeks

Today's doctor appointment went very well! Sydney gained 10 ounces since last Mondays appointment! She is now well past her birth weight at 5 lbs 12 oz. This makes mommy very happy! She is nursing very well and since she's gained so much weight we no longer have to pump and supplement with a bottle. We also can extend night feedings to every four hours instead of three. :) Score! Hopefully more sleep for this mama. Her jaundice continues to improve. It's such a relief that she is doing so well. All that hard work and feeding her constantly has paid off! She is even growing out of her preemie outfits. Sydney has also discovered her thumb, although I think at this point it's accidental and she doesn't quite have the thumb sucking thing down. Time will tell.

I can't believe how much progress she's made in two short weeks. These tiny humans are amazing! She definitely still loves to sleep the majority of the time, unless she is feeding - although sometimes I struggle to keep her awake even then! I've also noticed she's more active at night so I'm going to try to keep her awake during the day more, which should be easier now that I don't have to nap as much either. 

She makes the funniest facial expressions! It's so fun to watch her little lips pucker or her forehead wrinkle up. She just melts our hearts. 

Holly xoxo

...while I have a burst of energy

So it's been almost two weeks postpartum. It's been such a roller coaster ride! I won't go into the birth story now, but that will come in time! I miss blogging, in fact there is a lot of things that I miss since becoming a mom, which I now can safely say is the most difficult job on earth! There are so many things going through my mind, yet at the same time it's hard to form those thoughts into words because my mind is a jumbled mess as it's coping with no sleep and raging hormones.

I just wanted to let you all know I am still here and I hope to be able to blog on a more regular basis soon! I know how important it is to document these feelings and memories and that time will fly by, even when it seems I won't survive another sleepless night! I've learned no one can prepare you for what's ahead as you go from taking care of just yourself, to taking care of a helpless tiny human being who is completely dependent on you. It boggles my mind still that she belongs to me and that God has entrusted her to my care. It's beautiful and I am in awe of how perfect her little features are. She is truly fearfully and wonderfully made.

My days have been consumed with feeding her. Since she is a preemie she is still having some problems getting all the milk she needs since she tires easily. So, I have to supplement with a bottle after I breast feed to see if she's still hungry. If she takes the bottle, then I pump as well. It's just a long process, but I know it's worth it and hopefully soon she will be strong enough to exclusively nurse. Every day she seems to get a little stronger and a little chubbier. :) She had her first well visit this past Monday at the pediatrician and gained three ounces in three days! This is a huge success and I go back this coming Monday to make sure she is continuing to gain since she lost a half pound of her birth weight. {She weighed 5 lbs 7 oz at birth and left the hospital at 4 lbs 14 oz). It would be great if she is close to her birth weight on Monday. Please continue to pray she grows strong! She is such a little fighter and makes progress every day. The doctor also said she has a slight case of jaundice, but didn't seem too concerned and suggested ten minutes of sunlight a day. Other than a diaper rash {thank goodness for Butt Paste, it's the best!}, the doctor said she looks good!

Wow, I can't believe how much I'm rambling and I'm sorry for how long this is getting! Obviously I need to get this out of my system. I guess this is what being house bound will do to you ;). No one to talk to! Tomorrow I am looking forward to taking her to my parents house for our young married couples church group BBQ{now that's a mouth full haha}. It will be nice to get out and do something "normal".

I'll end with some pictures of my little peanut. And I hope this post didn't sound like I was complaining, because I am not. I am just admitting how hard motherhood is! I know the hormones and exhaustion doesn't help. And I also know, this too shall pass.

It has been such a long journey to get to parenthood. And it was so worth it.

Holly xoxo

Lately: at 34 weeks

The windows are open. Cool breeze is flowing through the house along with the sound of birds singing. It's hard to believe it's the end of July! Not just because it feels like the dry mountain air of Montana, but because there's still no baby! I thought for sure I would have a July baby {I know, knock on wood there's still three days left}. In fact, looking back at my time spent in the hospital it was looking like we would be having a June baby!

I am just feeling so thankful today. It's probably the weather. I mean really, I was sitting outside on the deck this morning and I was cold. It felt so lovely though. It has left me longing for the smell of camp fires and the taste of all things apple and cinnamon.

Another reason to be thankful...

 

We've reached a huge milestone: we are into our 34th week of pregnancy! Not much else is new around here. Steve is almost finished making a bookcase for the nursery. And then, the nursery will be complete! Sans baby of course. :) Pictures to come, soon.

Surprisingly, the weeks have gone by fairly quickly. But, by the time Friday rolls around, I am itching to have some human interaction and appreciate having Steve around the house. Most days I start off watching the Today Show while eating my cereal and drinking coffee. Then follows in no particular order...reading, watching TV or a movie, floating in the pool and day dreaming about Sydney's arrival until Steve gets home. I will admit it's very relaxing and I'm trying hard to appreciate this down time without being jealous of the scores of people heading to the beach or mountains for long weekends and doing other normal summer activities. I keep telling myself there will be a time for that again soon enough. But, oh, am I itching bad with the travel bug! It is what it is.

In other news, I've been craving watermelon, cantelope, lemon yogurt, soft serve ice cream, and cereal. Can't get enough of the previously mentioned. I thought that was worth noting.

Sleeping has become a joke. If I can sleep three hours straight at a time I deem the night a success. My poor bladder. She can only handle so much. I consider this a good thing, though. My body is getting ready for baby's arrival! Soon I'll be needing to get up every couple of hours to feed her anyway.

Tomorrow I have my weekly doctor appointment. We shall see where things stand, but I have noticed these darn braxton hicks contractions seem to be getting a tad more uncomfortable and intense lately. Does this mean labor and delivery are right around the corner? That seems to be the question of my summer.

Oh! And I forgot to mention that last Wednesday we had a growth scan ultrasound, and Sydney is continuing to grow steady in the 14th percentile and weighed in at approximately 4 lbs 4 oz! We will have one more growth scan at 36 weeks.

We are just so excited to meet her and hold her! We are still in awe at this miracle growing inside of me.

Holly xoxo

First Goal Met!

We made it to 32 weeks! When I was admitted to the hospital five weeks ago at 27 weeks pregnant, we spoke with a NICU doctor. He was explaining to us what we could expect if we were to have the baby now. He also explained that 32 weeks is the next big milestone to reach if we are going to have a preterm baby. Well folks, we have met that goal! It is such a wonderful feeling of relief. At this point there is no sign of her coming! {knock on wood} The ultrasound this week showed not much change in cervical length. In fact, I no longer need cervical measurements since I made it to 32 weeks. From this point forward it's natural for the cervix to gradually shorten, so there is no need to monitor it anymore.

I have one more ultrasound next week to check Sydneys measurements and approximate weight, just to make sure she is continuing to grow on track. After that it's just weekly non stress tests and routine OB appointments until her arrival!

Our next goal is 34 weeks...less than two weeks away! We can do this! :) The doctor said once we hit 34 weeks her lungs should be mature enough to breath on her own, so if I go into labor 34+ weeks they won't try to stop her from coming! I've heard them say the next "preterm" goal after that is 36 weeks because baby is practically full term. One day at a time! It's already been over five weeks since I was admitted to the hospital. God is so good. He is faithful.

And let me just point out that the Olsen genes seem to be dominating once again {just look at Laurie's kids}. Aren't those Steve's lips or what?

Holly xoxo