A birth story: the day my life changed forever

We had just finished eating dinner. I don't even recall what we ate...tacos maybe?

"Honey, I think my water may be breaking...?" There was no gush, just a little leaking I noticed in my underwear {sorry TMI!}. Or at least that's what I thought. Was I imagining it? I felt so uncertain, yet I had this gut feeling that I should call my doctor. As I was on the phone with a mid wife, Steve was upstairs ironing the curtains for the nursery. I don't think he thought much of my discovery until I ran upstairs and told him they want me to come in to labor and delivery...'just in case'. We scrambled around, grabbed our already packed hospital bags, thinking to ourselves could this be the day? As we were driving to the hospital, we tried our best to hide our excitement and remain calm because surely this was just a false alarm. Right?

We checked into triage and they immediately took me back to get strapped up to monitors to measure contractions and the baby's heart rate. Thankfully, Sydney was not in distress and my contractions were averaging about 7 minutes apart. Nothing that unusual, considering I've been having contractions on and off for almost two months! The mid wife I spoke with on the phone came in and performed a test to determine if it was amniotic fluid that was leaking and to see If my cervix was dilated at all. The test came back inconclusive and I was only about 1 cm dilated. She didn't think my water was breaking due to the inconclusive results, but ordered an ultrasound to measure the fluid around the baby "just to be safe". No biggie! We were right, just a false alarm. I was embarrassed but knew it's better to be safe than sorry. The ultrasound went well...as far as we could tell. Sydney looked great and was moving around a lot. The ultrasound tech did mention that the fluid was measuring low, but made no hint that we should be concerned or how low it was exactly. "I need to take these pictures to a doctor to look at. We will be with you shortly," the ultrasound tech said.

We waited about 15-20 minutes. It seemed like an eternity. Finally, the mid wife returned and said very matter-of-factly, "So, are you ready to meet your daughter tonight?"

!!!

Steve and I grabbed each others hand. I remember repeating "oh my gosh! oh my gosh!" I also remember Steve grinning ear to ear.

The next two hours were a blur. But, apparently my water was breaking and the level of fluid around the baby was way too low. They would need to take her out NOW by c-section in order to avoid full blown labor because she was breech.

By the time the mid wife told us we would be meeting our daughter that night, to the time I was being prepped in the operating room was about an hour or so. It was all happening so quickly, but I was so excited to meet her and see what she looked like! Since she was only 35 weeks along, I of course was also worried about her health.

At 10:55 pm on Monday, August 4, 2014, our beautiful and perfect baby girl made her grand entrance into the world.

As, the doctor was operating I heard him say "I see a little butt!" and then she was out. I then heard the most beautiful sound. The sweet cries of my daughter. As she was being carried from my belly to the pediatrician for examination, the first thing I noticed was lots of dark hair. Steve instantly went over to see her and take pictures and cut the cord. I could overhear the doctor and nurse as they looked her over and by seeing the huge smile on Steve's face, I knew she was healthy and I knew it was going to be okay.

5 lbs 7 oz. 18.75 inches long. Our miracle was finally here.

^^^about to go back to the operating room

 

^^^last picture of me pregnant at 35 weeks.

^^^first picture of our baby girl <3

^^^first time meeting mommy

^^^first family photo :)

^^^our future gymnast ;)

^^^first visitors. steer clear! Nana's on a mission!

^^^Nana, Aunt Erin, & PopPop

Holly xoxo

Sydney at two weeks

Today's doctor appointment went very well! Sydney gained 10 ounces since last Mondays appointment! She is now well past her birth weight at 5 lbs 12 oz. This makes mommy very happy! She is nursing very well and since she's gained so much weight we no longer have to pump and supplement with a bottle. We also can extend night feedings to every four hours instead of three. :) Score! Hopefully more sleep for this mama. Her jaundice continues to improve. It's such a relief that she is doing so well. All that hard work and feeding her constantly has paid off! She is even growing out of her preemie outfits. Sydney has also discovered her thumb, although I think at this point it's accidental and she doesn't quite have the thumb sucking thing down. Time will tell.

I can't believe how much progress she's made in two short weeks. These tiny humans are amazing! She definitely still loves to sleep the majority of the time, unless she is feeding - although sometimes I struggle to keep her awake even then! I've also noticed she's more active at night so I'm going to try to keep her awake during the day more, which should be easier now that I don't have to nap as much either. 

She makes the funniest facial expressions! It's so fun to watch her little lips pucker or her forehead wrinkle up. She just melts our hearts. 

Holly xoxo

...while I have a burst of energy

So it's been almost two weeks postpartum. It's been such a roller coaster ride! I won't go into the birth story now, but that will come in time! I miss blogging, in fact there is a lot of things that I miss since becoming a mom, which I now can safely say is the most difficult job on earth! There are so many things going through my mind, yet at the same time it's hard to form those thoughts into words because my mind is a jumbled mess as it's coping with no sleep and raging hormones.

I just wanted to let you all know I am still here and I hope to be able to blog on a more regular basis soon! I know how important it is to document these feelings and memories and that time will fly by, even when it seems I won't survive another sleepless night! I've learned no one can prepare you for what's ahead as you go from taking care of just yourself, to taking care of a helpless tiny human being who is completely dependent on you. It boggles my mind still that she belongs to me and that God has entrusted her to my care. It's beautiful and I am in awe of how perfect her little features are. She is truly fearfully and wonderfully made.

My days have been consumed with feeding her. Since she is a preemie she is still having some problems getting all the milk she needs since she tires easily. So, I have to supplement with a bottle after I breast feed to see if she's still hungry. If she takes the bottle, then I pump as well. It's just a long process, but I know it's worth it and hopefully soon she will be strong enough to exclusively nurse. Every day she seems to get a little stronger and a little chubbier. :) She had her first well visit this past Monday at the pediatrician and gained three ounces in three days! This is a huge success and I go back this coming Monday to make sure she is continuing to gain since she lost a half pound of her birth weight. {She weighed 5 lbs 7 oz at birth and left the hospital at 4 lbs 14 oz). It would be great if she is close to her birth weight on Monday. Please continue to pray she grows strong! She is such a little fighter and makes progress every day. The doctor also said she has a slight case of jaundice, but didn't seem too concerned and suggested ten minutes of sunlight a day. Other than a diaper rash {thank goodness for Butt Paste, it's the best!}, the doctor said she looks good!

Wow, I can't believe how much I'm rambling and I'm sorry for how long this is getting! Obviously I need to get this out of my system. I guess this is what being house bound will do to you ;). No one to talk to! Tomorrow I am looking forward to taking her to my parents house for our young married couples church group BBQ{now that's a mouth full haha}. It will be nice to get out and do something "normal".

I'll end with some pictures of my little peanut. And I hope this post didn't sound like I was complaining, because I am not. I am just admitting how hard motherhood is! I know the hormones and exhaustion doesn't help. And I also know, this too shall pass.

It has been such a long journey to get to parenthood. And it was so worth it.

Holly xoxo

Lately: at 34 weeks

The windows are open. Cool breeze is flowing through the house along with the sound of birds singing. It's hard to believe it's the end of July! Not just because it feels like the dry mountain air of Montana, but because there's still no baby! I thought for sure I would have a July baby {I know, knock on wood there's still three days left}. In fact, looking back at my time spent in the hospital it was looking like we would be having a June baby!

I am just feeling so thankful today. It's probably the weather. I mean really, I was sitting outside on the deck this morning and I was cold. It felt so lovely though. It has left me longing for the smell of camp fires and the taste of all things apple and cinnamon.

Another reason to be thankful...

 

We've reached a huge milestone: we are into our 34th week of pregnancy! Not much else is new around here. Steve is almost finished making a bookcase for the nursery. And then, the nursery will be complete! Sans baby of course. :) Pictures to come, soon.

Surprisingly, the weeks have gone by fairly quickly. But, by the time Friday rolls around, I am itching to have some human interaction and appreciate having Steve around the house. Most days I start off watching the Today Show while eating my cereal and drinking coffee. Then follows in no particular order...reading, watching TV or a movie, floating in the pool and day dreaming about Sydney's arrival until Steve gets home. I will admit it's very relaxing and I'm trying hard to appreciate this down time without being jealous of the scores of people heading to the beach or mountains for long weekends and doing other normal summer activities. I keep telling myself there will be a time for that again soon enough. But, oh, am I itching bad with the travel bug! It is what it is.

In other news, I've been craving watermelon, cantelope, lemon yogurt, soft serve ice cream, and cereal. Can't get enough of the previously mentioned. I thought that was worth noting.

Sleeping has become a joke. If I can sleep three hours straight at a time I deem the night a success. My poor bladder. She can only handle so much. I consider this a good thing, though. My body is getting ready for baby's arrival! Soon I'll be needing to get up every couple of hours to feed her anyway.

Tomorrow I have my weekly doctor appointment. We shall see where things stand, but I have noticed these darn braxton hicks contractions seem to be getting a tad more uncomfortable and intense lately. Does this mean labor and delivery are right around the corner? That seems to be the question of my summer.

Oh! And I forgot to mention that last Wednesday we had a growth scan ultrasound, and Sydney is continuing to grow steady in the 14th percentile and weighed in at approximately 4 lbs 4 oz! We will have one more growth scan at 36 weeks.

We are just so excited to meet her and hold her! We are still in awe at this miracle growing inside of me.

Holly xoxo

First Goal Met!

We made it to 32 weeks! When I was admitted to the hospital five weeks ago at 27 weeks pregnant, we spoke with a NICU doctor. He was explaining to us what we could expect if we were to have the baby now. He also explained that 32 weeks is the next big milestone to reach if we are going to have a preterm baby. Well folks, we have met that goal! It is such a wonderful feeling of relief. At this point there is no sign of her coming! {knock on wood} The ultrasound this week showed not much change in cervical length. In fact, I no longer need cervical measurements since I made it to 32 weeks. From this point forward it's natural for the cervix to gradually shorten, so there is no need to monitor it anymore.

I have one more ultrasound next week to check Sydneys measurements and approximate weight, just to make sure she is continuing to grow on track. After that it's just weekly non stress tests and routine OB appointments until her arrival!

Our next goal is 34 weeks...less than two weeks away! We can do this! :) The doctor said once we hit 34 weeks her lungs should be mature enough to breath on her own, so if I go into labor 34+ weeks they won't try to stop her from coming! I've heard them say the next "preterm" goal after that is 36 weeks because baby is practically full term. One day at a time! It's already been over five weeks since I was admitted to the hospital. God is so good. He is faithful.

And let me just point out that the Olsen genes seem to be dominating once again {just look at Laurie's kids}. Aren't those Steve's lips or what?

Holly xoxo

All that waiting paid off {my baby shower}

A celebration I had thought several times I would never experience. This is a dream come true. For years I struggled and wondered if I would ever get to attend my very own baby shower. When the time finally arrived, the scare of preterm labor threw a wrench in to things. Thankfully, the show went on! Modified bed rest or not! It was supposed to be a surprise, but due to the fact that we weren't even sure I'd make it to my shower I sort of had to know when it was. I was still unaware of all the details, the location, etc so my mom was able to keep most things a secret. It was so much to take in!

My parents gave us a glider for the nursery, so I was able to use it at the shower to stay relaxed and resting during the festivities. Must follow doctors orders! There was lots of family and friends gathered. Lots of delicious food. Lots of gifts - all things baby. Lots of cute onesies and clothes. Lots of children's books. Lots of love. I am so blessed. I'll let the pictures do most of the talking, but let me tell you, the shower was the most beautiful baby shower I have ever been to. Okay, so maybe I'm being just a tad partial. But, I'll let you be the judge of that as you scroll down. {sorry in advance...I had a hard time narrowing down which pictures to share!}

Pictures courtesy of my Aunt Cindi and sister-in-law, Laurie. Thank you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wanted to personally thank my mom, my Aunt Cindi, my sisters Mandy, Erin, and Laurie, and dear friends Michelle and Bekah. Wow, I am so humbled by how much time, energy and thoughtfulness you all contributed into making this shower so special to me. Words cannot accurately describe how much it meant to me, and how much you all mean to Steve, Sydney and I. Your love and kindness did not go unnoticed and I appreciate you all each so much. Love you!

Holly xoxo