A birth story: the day my life changed forever

We had just finished eating dinner. I don't even recall what we ate...tacos maybe?

"Honey, I think my water may be breaking...?" There was no gush, just a little leaking I noticed in my underwear {sorry TMI!}. Or at least that's what I thought. Was I imagining it? I felt so uncertain, yet I had this gut feeling that I should call my doctor. As I was on the phone with a mid wife, Steve was upstairs ironing the curtains for the nursery. I don't think he thought much of my discovery until I ran upstairs and told him they want me to come in to labor and delivery...'just in case'. We scrambled around, grabbed our already packed hospital bags, thinking to ourselves could this be the day? As we were driving to the hospital, we tried our best to hide our excitement and remain calm because surely this was just a false alarm. Right?

We checked into triage and they immediately took me back to get strapped up to monitors to measure contractions and the baby's heart rate. Thankfully, Sydney was not in distress and my contractions were averaging about 7 minutes apart. Nothing that unusual, considering I've been having contractions on and off for almost two months! The mid wife I spoke with on the phone came in and performed a test to determine if it was amniotic fluid that was leaking and to see If my cervix was dilated at all. The test came back inconclusive and I was only about 1 cm dilated. She didn't think my water was breaking due to the inconclusive results, but ordered an ultrasound to measure the fluid around the baby "just to be safe". No biggie! We were right, just a false alarm. I was embarrassed but knew it's better to be safe than sorry. The ultrasound went well...as far as we could tell. Sydney looked great and was moving around a lot. The ultrasound tech did mention that the fluid was measuring low, but made no hint that we should be concerned or how low it was exactly. "I need to take these pictures to a doctor to look at. We will be with you shortly," the ultrasound tech said.

We waited about 15-20 minutes. It seemed like an eternity. Finally, the mid wife returned and said very matter-of-factly, "So, are you ready to meet your daughter tonight?"

!!!

Steve and I grabbed each others hand. I remember repeating "oh my gosh! oh my gosh!" I also remember Steve grinning ear to ear.

The next two hours were a blur. But, apparently my water was breaking and the level of fluid around the baby was way too low. They would need to take her out NOW by c-section in order to avoid full blown labor because she was breech.

By the time the mid wife told us we would be meeting our daughter that night, to the time I was being prepped in the operating room was about an hour or so. It was all happening so quickly, but I was so excited to meet her and see what she looked like! Since she was only 35 weeks along, I of course was also worried about her health.

At 10:55 pm on Monday, August 4, 2014, our beautiful and perfect baby girl made her grand entrance into the world.

As, the doctor was operating I heard him say "I see a little butt!" and then she was out. I then heard the most beautiful sound. The sweet cries of my daughter. As she was being carried from my belly to the pediatrician for examination, the first thing I noticed was lots of dark hair. Steve instantly went over to see her and take pictures and cut the cord. I could overhear the doctor and nurse as they looked her over and by seeing the huge smile on Steve's face, I knew she was healthy and I knew it was going to be okay.

5 lbs 7 oz. 18.75 inches long. Our miracle was finally here.

^^^about to go back to the operating room

 

^^^last picture of me pregnant at 35 weeks.

^^^first picture of our baby girl <3

^^^first time meeting mommy

^^^first family photo :)

^^^our future gymnast ;)

^^^first visitors. steer clear! Nana's on a mission!

^^^Nana, Aunt Erin, & PopPop

Holly xoxo

Sydney at two weeks

Today's doctor appointment went very well! Sydney gained 10 ounces since last Mondays appointment! She is now well past her birth weight at 5 lbs 12 oz. This makes mommy very happy! She is nursing very well and since she's gained so much weight we no longer have to pump and supplement with a bottle. We also can extend night feedings to every four hours instead of three. :) Score! Hopefully more sleep for this mama. Her jaundice continues to improve. It's such a relief that she is doing so well. All that hard work and feeding her constantly has paid off! She is even growing out of her preemie outfits. Sydney has also discovered her thumb, although I think at this point it's accidental and she doesn't quite have the thumb sucking thing down. Time will tell.

I can't believe how much progress she's made in two short weeks. These tiny humans are amazing! She definitely still loves to sleep the majority of the time, unless she is feeding - although sometimes I struggle to keep her awake even then! I've also noticed she's more active at night so I'm going to try to keep her awake during the day more, which should be easier now that I don't have to nap as much either. 

She makes the funniest facial expressions! It's so fun to watch her little lips pucker or her forehead wrinkle up. She just melts our hearts. 

Holly xoxo

...while I have a burst of energy

So it's been almost two weeks postpartum. It's been such a roller coaster ride! I won't go into the birth story now, but that will come in time! I miss blogging, in fact there is a lot of things that I miss since becoming a mom, which I now can safely say is the most difficult job on earth! There are so many things going through my mind, yet at the same time it's hard to form those thoughts into words because my mind is a jumbled mess as it's coping with no sleep and raging hormones.

I just wanted to let you all know I am still here and I hope to be able to blog on a more regular basis soon! I know how important it is to document these feelings and memories and that time will fly by, even when it seems I won't survive another sleepless night! I've learned no one can prepare you for what's ahead as you go from taking care of just yourself, to taking care of a helpless tiny human being who is completely dependent on you. It boggles my mind still that she belongs to me and that God has entrusted her to my care. It's beautiful and I am in awe of how perfect her little features are. She is truly fearfully and wonderfully made.

My days have been consumed with feeding her. Since she is a preemie she is still having some problems getting all the milk she needs since she tires easily. So, I have to supplement with a bottle after I breast feed to see if she's still hungry. If she takes the bottle, then I pump as well. It's just a long process, but I know it's worth it and hopefully soon she will be strong enough to exclusively nurse. Every day she seems to get a little stronger and a little chubbier. :) She had her first well visit this past Monday at the pediatrician and gained three ounces in three days! This is a huge success and I go back this coming Monday to make sure she is continuing to gain since she lost a half pound of her birth weight. {She weighed 5 lbs 7 oz at birth and left the hospital at 4 lbs 14 oz). It would be great if she is close to her birth weight on Monday. Please continue to pray she grows strong! She is such a little fighter and makes progress every day. The doctor also said she has a slight case of jaundice, but didn't seem too concerned and suggested ten minutes of sunlight a day. Other than a diaper rash {thank goodness for Butt Paste, it's the best!}, the doctor said she looks good!

Wow, I can't believe how much I'm rambling and I'm sorry for how long this is getting! Obviously I need to get this out of my system. I guess this is what being house bound will do to you ;). No one to talk to! Tomorrow I am looking forward to taking her to my parents house for our young married couples church group BBQ{now that's a mouth full haha}. It will be nice to get out and do something "normal".

I'll end with some pictures of my little peanut. And I hope this post didn't sound like I was complaining, because I am not. I am just admitting how hard motherhood is! I know the hormones and exhaustion doesn't help. And I also know, this too shall pass.

It has been such a long journey to get to parenthood. And it was so worth it.

Holly xoxo